Northeastern has announced that savvy congressional veteran Francis J. Underwood has been appointed a professor of government.
“Power is a lot like real estate,” said Underwood, a native of South Carolina. “It’s all about location, location, location. The closer you are to the source, the higher your property value. And there is no better location right now than Northeastern University.”
Underwood will continue to work in Washington, D.C., in addition to teaching. In his first course, Why Washington Politics is a House of Cards, he will draw from his own experiences to lecture on the state of politics today. The course already has a waiting list of more than 4,000 students.
When asked about beginning his teaching career at Northeastern, Underwood said he wanted to go to a university committed to providing students with opportunities to gain real-world work experience.
“Money is the McMansion in Sarasota that starts falling apart after 10 years,” said Underwood, looking into a camera off to the side. “Co-op is the old stone building that stands for centuries. I cannot respect someone who doesn’t see the difference.”
Northeastern’s hiring of Underwood continues the university’s recent string of high-profile faculty additions. These include the groundbreaking yet controversial chemist Jesse Pinkman; Dowager Countess of Grantham Violet Crawley, a scholar of British history and social hierarchy; and Rick Grimes, an expert in criminal justice as well as leadership during a zombie apocalypse.
This article is part of Northeastern’s 2014 April Fools’ Day coverage.